The Minister of Housing And the Tides

Canute's Courtiers Make a Comeback

Until Reality Drowns Them Out

The present New Zealand government appears to have an acute case of Canutism.  The ancient King Canute went down to the sea shore and commanded the tide not to proceed any further.  But the tide (like time) waits for no man; Canute left humbled and humiliated.

Well, the last bit isn't accurate, according to the historians.  The real story was more amusing--and more sobering.  The honest and humble Christian King Canute became sick to death at the fawning and obsequious lying of his courtiers and attendants.  He decided to give them a reality check.  He asked them if they thought he he was so great he could command the tide to cease ebbing and flowing.  They insisted that the King's greatness and power extended to commanding the tides.  Canute then demanded to go down to the shore to test their wisdom.

The courtiers were left with red faces and indecently exposed.

In our day, we have a different version of Canutism.
  The current mob of politicians has amongst them those who went to the hustings promising the tides would cease if they were elected to government.  In other words, the fawning courtiers would become miracle workers if they were granted the crown.  Their grandiose claims were believed by a goodly portion of the electorate.  The rest rolled their eyes.

Phil Twyford, Minister of Housing insisted that if he were elected to govern the Ministry of Housing, thousands upon thousands of government houses would materialise like the incoming tide, thus washing away our housing shortage.  Now he has to deliver.  His boasts are becoming exposed as trickery.  The electorate is starting to ponder a new conundrum: is Twyford a mendacious deceiver, like Canute's courtiers, or is he just plain dumb?

One commentator had this to say on Twyford's housing plan:

Let's have a look at what the government is delivering as part of its KiwiBuild programme.  Nine hectares, 4000 houses. And they're affordable, or what passes for affordable, or what someone decides is affordable. . . .    It's 29 hectares and 4000 houses at under $600 grand a pop.

Do the numbers. That's 72 square metres per house (that's the land content by the way not the size of the house, although I doubt many of the houses will be a lot bigger.)  72 square metres of land per house, in a country where the quarter acre one reigned supreme, and these days 300 squares is seen as about as small as you'd want.

So 72 isn't enough to let your dog pee on, but that's modern housing. Or is it? You see, building something and having people buy it might be two different things.  .  .  . In theory, great idea. In reality, banks struggle to lend against them. If you're building 4000 houses, that's over 10,000 people in a comparatively very small area. And if the houses aren't exactly architectural masterpieces to start, what will they look like in a decade? What will the area look like in a decade? It's got dump written all over it.

Building cheap and fast looks more like a political idea, than a good, well thought-through housing and design idea. And if that's true, aren't we really just creating new problems for another day?  [Mike Hoskings, NZ Herald]

OK--so clearly Hoskings isn't a fan.  But let's give Twyford the benefit of the doubt.  Let's assume he is clever, not dumb.  That would mean, therefore, that he is a mendacious deceiver of the electorate.  Feel any better?  Not really.

There will be eventually a nauseous incidence of indecent exposure as Twyford's housing programme morphs into a wretched slum.  The byproduct will be yet more cynicism and disrespect of those elected to govern us.  But like Canute's fawning courtiers, at least we will know that the fault is ours, not that of cunning mendacious politicians who so easily manipulate, mislead, and use us for their own gain.  They serve us right. We deserve it.