An Open Letter of Concession
Dear Vlad,
We have had our differences over the years, but from time to time there are matters and issues upon which we can find agreement. One of those is doping in sports. Now, to be candid, it is true that I have hitherto supported the general line that drugsenhanced sports performance is a form of cheating.
Therefore, in the interests of full disclosure, I must acknowledge that to this point I have strongly opposed Russia's widespread doping and chemical enhancement of its athletes. Yes, I have supported the Olympic bans upon Russian athletes. I have even gone so far as to agree with the banning of Maria Sharapova from world tennis.
But, I have changed my views. It seems now that doping is widespread throughout world sport and there is nothing that can be done to stop it. Mankind's lust for glory on the sporting fields is just too strong, too overwhelming to withstand. Human pride is one of the strongest traits of character in our fallen and benighted race. Therefore, it is time to throw the towel in.
This is an issue in which history will record Russia, under your leadership, as being a truly enlightened nation, way ahead of the morally antiquated West. You saw clearly, whereas we did not. You perceived the arc of history more presciently than any other world leader, apart from minnows like North Korea's Kim Jong Un. Credit, where credit is due, as my old dad used to say.
As you know, transgenderism, or gender-bending, is rife in the West.