The Sisterhood's Ideal World

Stop Dumping Kids in 'Factory Farms'

Deborah Hill Cone
NZ Herald


This week on my way to a morning lecture on attachment theory, I walked past a noisy daycare centre. It must have been drop-off time. 

One mother, in yoga pants, was remarking to another: "She had a tantrum the entire way here." Her tone of voice was amused, insouciant.  The other mother, brisk, replied: "Did you walk?"  Yoga pants replied: "I just dragged her here!" She sounded triumphant at imposing her will over a tiny child. I half expected her to add: "Little madam."

Maybe that little girl normally loved daycare. Maybe she was frustrated because she wanted to wear her fairy wings or because there was no Nutella for her morning toast.  She may not have been protesting about being forced to spend most of her waking hours in a loud daycare centre among strangers, with grimy plastic toys to fight over and a cold equivalent of a prison-yard to play in.

Yet, on her behalf, I felt like crying. I wanted to tell ol' yoga pants to listen to her daughter. To take her feelings seriously. I wanted to tell her to make sure her daughter did not feel invisible, invalidated.  Instead I kept walking to my class, where I learned some more terribly uncomfortable truths about child development.