Islamic, Secular, and Christian Marriage

A Cultural Lightning Rod

Islam has problems.  Lots of them.  If any want an easy-to-read account of Islam, we recommend Patrick Sookhdeo's A Pocket Guide to Islam.  [Ross Shire: Christian Focus Publications, 2010]  A chapter is dedicated in that brief book to "Women in Islam". 

Since Muhammad had fifteen wives and a number of concubines, it is reasonable to expect that Islamic doctrines on marriage and the family would turn out to be not just unreliable, but wretched.  Not that the secular West has any grounds upon which to criticize Islamic doctrines on marriage and the family.  After all, the secular notion of marriage and family is now so meaningless it has come to include two females and a budgie.

Marriage in Islam is not primarily a man and a woman leaving the homes of their childhoods, and cleaving to each other for life.  Islam permits a man to have up to four wives--and if any displease him, they can be divorced at whim and will, simply by formally uttering to the wife, "I divorce you" three times. So there!  Go tell that to the Registrar of Births, Deaths, and Marriages.

When an Islamic marriage is contracted, it is almost always due to arrangements being made between two families, not two individuals.  Sookhdeo writes:

Marriage is not so much a joining of the two individuals involved as a joining of their respective families.  As such, marriage are almost always arranged by the families concerned, with little or no consultation with the young couple, who sometimes do not even see each other until the wedding day.  Strictly speaking, the young person is allowed to refuse the prospective marriage partner whom their family chooses for them, but in practice there is often enormous pressure and emotional blackmail put on them to accept and not disgrace the family by refusing.  The bride is not necessarily even present at the marriage contract ceremony, but can be represented by a male relative. [Op cit., p. 81.]

Does this still apply, even in the West?  Of course it does, although many turn a blind eye to the practice.  Consider the following:

A Texas high school student ran away from home after being abused and beaten by her parents because she refused an arranged marriage.  Maarib Al Hishmawi, 16, whose parents reported her as missing in late January, was found in mid-March, Fox News reported.

She was last seen leaving Taft High School in Bexar County on January 30, the Daily Mail reports.  Al Hishmawi was discovered by an organization in mid-March who took her in and looked after her. Police revealed her parents, Abdulah Fahmi Al Hishmawi, 34, and Hamdiyah Saha Al Hishmawi, 33, allegedly beat her with a broomstick and poured hot cooking oil on her when she refused to marry a man in another city.  Apparently the parents agreed to the arranged marriage in exchange for $20,000.

Bexar County Sheriff Javier Salazar said on Friday: "This young lady, at various times over that time period was subjected to some pretty bad abuse because she didn't want to be married to this person."  "Several times it was reported to us that this young lady was abused with hot cooking oil being thrown on her body. She was beat with broomsticks," Salazar added.  "At least at one point, she was choked almost to the point of unconsciousness."

Al Hishmawi was placed under Child Protective Services custody along with her five siblings, who are between the ages 5 and 15.  The parents were taken into custody on Friday and face charges of continuous violence against a family member.  The man who was arranged to be married to Al Hishmawi may also be charged in the case.  [NZ Herald.  Emphasis, ours]

The authorities in Bexar County, Texas are drawing upon and representing a longstanding legal and cultural tradition--a Christian tradition.  The Hishmawi's are representing, also, an ancient legal and cultural tradition.  It is not so much a clash of civilisations, as a clash of religions and the cultural mores and norms they project.

Some observations on these events would include:

a.) The secular, humanist West's "two lesbians and a budgie" are so far beyond the pale that they have won for themselves the ultimate accolade of being ignored and disregarded.  One does not rebuke the fool, lest one becomes like him or her.  [Proverbs 26:4  Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.]

b.) Throughout those Western countries that still have a commitment to Christian doctrines and Christian cultural traditions, neither room nor accommodation nor credence, nor legitimacy must be given to Islamic doctrines of women, marriage, and family.

c.) We must continue to insist that Christian traditions of marriage and family are at odds with secular humanist traditions, as much as they are with Islamic traditions.

What the pagans do, they will do.  But as for our houses, we will love and serve the Lord God.  We will remain thankful for the blessedness of Christian marriage and Christian families.