The S-Files

Winston Peters Receives S-Award

Contra Celsum has given an S-Award to Winston Peters whose political party is “giving away” $150,000 of other peoples' money to charities. The largesse is being given in bills of small denominations so that it cannot be traced.

Citation:

The S-Award is proudly bestowed on Winston Peters who exemplifies the modern Athenian politician. His actions have been remarkably consistent throughout all his political life, but have recently reached a high point of achievement. He has been a true faithful servant of the people.

Peters is one of the country's most sophisticated leaders. All his public life he has embodied the principle of common-sense pragmatism, devoid of empty idealism or naïve lofty principles. He knows that the Colosseum crowd loves to receive bread and other goodies at the hand of their Emperors. Politics is essentially about bribery.

His public career has embraced the corruption of modern democratic government with breathtaking honesty and candour. He has welcomed it without guile. His career is synonymous with a life long dedication to public bribery as a means of maintaining position and office. His public life is a living dedication to the principle that the State should exact as much as it can from its activities so that more and more can be distributed with grander “generosity”. Thus Peters has carefully groomed a loyal section of the Colosseum crowd that he has pleased with scraps of bread from time to time. He has done it with panache and skill—envied by his political opponents.

At the last election he and his faction were caught stealing $150,000 from the citizens. But consistent with his life long career he has determined not to repay the funds but to drip more largesse out to his admirers. In doing this he is being utterly consistent with his principles. He is rightly offended at the criticism from politicians of other factions. He knows they are hypocrites. After all, they, too, all their public lives, have played the same game—exacting money from the people and redistributing it to curry and buy favour from their respective Colosseum factions. Politics is all about bribery.

Peters has just taken the game to a new advanced level. The criticism he is unjustly having to endure is little more than envy from factional opponents who wish they had thought of it first. Winston Peters is a true citizen and loyal servant of the country. He is the true mirror of the country.

Winston Peters is New Zealand—necrosis in a flashy suit.

Winston Peters: S-Award, Class One for actions that are Smart, Sound and Salutary.