Auckland City Struck Again by the Scarlet Pimpernel

The Greater Good Overcomes the Orange Horror

Auckland Council has decided to ban orange carrots.  Standing up for the little men amongst us, the Council has courageously decided that carrots are not to be permitted to be grown nor sold anywhere within the city's boundaries.  They are now officially verboten.

The reason is a noble one.  Carrots are a genetically modified vegetable. The risks to the human population from eating genetically modified carrots are unknown and, consequently, unquantifiable.  Therefore, with our best interests at heart, the Auckland Council has decided to play it safe and protect us all from possible harm down the track.

To be sure, orange carrots have been consumed throughout the world for nigh on 450 years.  Prior to that time they were found in red, or yellow, or purple shades of colour.  But the nationalistic, profit-seeking Dutch developed an orange cultivar in honour of the ruling House of Orange.  What evils this specific genetic modification have wrought, are wreaking, and will wreak upon the human race are unknown, untold, and unquantifiable--so Auckland Council has banned the carrot.

And not just carrots.
 The Council has decided to turn Auckland into a GE (genetically engineered) free zone as part of its Unitary (30 year) Plan.

Opponents of genetic engineering believe Auckland Council's decision to become officially GE-free will be good for business.  Auckland councillors have agreed to ban the general release of genetically modified organisms under the Unitary Plan, a 30-year combined regional and district plan. . . . Soil and Health Association chairwoman Marion Thomson said all councils should be taking a long-term precautionary approach to any untested GM technologies.  [NewstalkZB]

To be fair, parents, restaurants, supermarkets--in fact most of the community--are fuming at this government overreach.  It is steeped in ignorance and luddite-like fears, they say.  But who knew that carrots were genetically modified.  It will come as a shock to most.  But in the end, "safety-first" must and will win out, we believe.  The fact that so many are so upset that carrots will no longer be sold, nor cultivated, throughout Auckland City indicates just how addictive and mind-controlling the orange monstrosity is--thereby providing positive proof of the dangers of GE.

Opponents and critics of the ban are showing their colours, so to speak.  Wedded to dirty profits, they would rather have people living in terror of what their food might be doing to them, whilst rubbing their fat hands around all the money they have been making.

Here is one ignorant critic:

GM technologies have been in use for over 30 years without a single adverse incident. There are a group of people who have a near-religious aversion to “interfering” with nature and they use the precautionary principle as a ruse. The truth is they will never ever support GM regardless of the benefits or science.  [Kiwiblog]

It is offensive that such plutocrats slur the supporters of this move as "near-religious" as if they were somewhat befuddled.  It's precisely because GM or GE needs be opposed in all its forms that we approve of the move.  If Auckland city is to be genuinely GE free, banning orange carrots is necessary, all alleged benefits of the "orange horror" notwithstanding, .

The one downside--which has to be truthfully acknowledged--is that the addictive powers of orange carrots, now that this particular GE monstrosity is banned, are likely to open up huge business opportunities for the Mongrel Mob, the Headhunters, and other assorted criminal gangs.  It is rumoured that hydroponic sites are already under construction in South Auckland houses.  But the greater good must prevail.  The Scarlet Pimpernel demands it.  Orange is out.