Being Played

Bad Manners

We have to confess that we have been enjoying a good belly-laugh at the clever Greg Growden, rugby columnist for the Sydney Morning Herald.  He has written a piece seething with faux indignation about the alleged bad behaviour of a Minister of the Crown at a corporate hospitality box watching the Australian rugby team struggle manfully against Italy.

Apparently the Minister (unnamed) shouted out ungentlemanly remarks about the Australian team's quality of play, its ethics, manhood, and other publicly unmentionable matters, whilst enjoying the hospitality of the Australian Rugby Union.
 

Australian Rugby Union officials always anticipate a hard time when they are in New Zealand, and were not shocked by the crowd jeering the Wallabies during their opening World Cup game. But they never expected their official Kiwi hosts to join in. According to Jeeves, our snout in the official box, one of the invited guests got really carried away, especially after Italy troubled the Wallabies early on. ''He booed and abused the Wallabies all game,'' Jeeves said. ''He was yelling out, 'f---ing cheats' and other offensive remarks, and then when the Wallabies started to get on top, he suddenly left.''

Naturally the ARU representatives and their partners in the box were gobsmacked. One asked an Auckland government official: ''Who is this bloke? His behaviour is right over the top.'' The local suit replied: ''Sorry. I can't do much about it. He's a government minister.'' The contingent now refer to him as the New Zealand Minister for Bad Manners.

Clearly the Minister in question had failed in some fundamental ways.  He has not adhered to the code of public conduct required by all members of the toffie set.  Growden's tattler, going by the pseudonym of Jeeves, apparently expected the Minister to shout at the full extent of his lungs the following Woosterisms, "Oh, well done, sir.  

"Jolly good show.  

"Marvellous.  

"Ripping good ruck, what. 

"I say, splendid chaps, those Australians.  

"The colonialists have learned to play the game rather well.  

"Pity about the 'I-ties.  Wogs." 

However, we have to acknowledge that when an Australian accuses a New Zealander of bad manners you know in your heart that the unnamed minister must have been really, really offensive.  But the real hoot has been the tut tutting and flut fluttering all through the NZ media and the chattering classes trying to find the identity of the offending Minister and confirm what actually went on.  The embarrassing charade played out from the Prime Minister down.  Most the "news" yesterday was focused upon the earnest sleuthing and investigative reporting that resulted as the relentless, professional media went after the big story of the day.  

Growden must have spent most of the day rolling on the floor in laughter.  Good on him.  He played New Zealand perfectly.  He exposed all our PC primness, our national wowsering in one brilliant stroke.   

 

Next we will have the Parliament debating the urgent need for a Code of Manners for all Ministers of the Crown.  Maybe Growden could write it for us.  What a silly people we have become. 

For our part, we say, "Good one, Greg.  Very clever.  You set the chattering class, the politicos, the PC brigade, and the media up perfectly.  And they took the bait.  Big time."