The S-Files

The Corrosion of Envy

Contra Celsum feels compelled to nominate Helen Elizabeth Clark for an S-Award

Helen Clark is the Prime Minister of New Zealand.

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Helen Clark and her political allies have long professed an aversion to the wealthy. It was natural that when John Key, who has a personal net worth of around $50m, became leader of the opposition Clark did not have to screw herself up to dislike and hate. To chardonnay socialist Clark, Key represents something she detests: privileged, monied classes, who corruptly use the levers of power to line their own pockets at the expense of the poor and vulnerable.

The fact that Key was a poor boy made rich is a slight impediment, but quickly laid aside.

This is why she has persisted in making a huge noise over privatising state assets. In the (first and) last great round of privatisation some notorious Kiwi “rich pricks” made an awful lot of money shopping the state owned businesses to the private sector. This was not unusual: merchant bankers usually make a lot of money advising or, and underwriting, mergers and acquisitions, as do the legal and accounting advisers contracted to assist. But such things to the parsimonious Clark are evil.

That fact that it was her own political colleagues that led the privatisation charge, and that she was an increasingly trusted member of the government at the time is a slight embarrassment, but quickly brushed over. We are not talking about the facts here. We are talking about righteous indignation.

She believes instinctively—that is, she intuitively knows and is utterly certain—that Key is set to sell off a whole lot more assets to “make his mates rich”. Just as she knows that leopards cannot change their spots, she is certain and sure that underneath the mild demeanour and nice-boy image of John Key is the rapacious fangs of a bloated rich bastard. Fighting this evil which she sees more clearly that ordinary human beings has become something of a holy crusade.

The fact that just this week she has made a few “rich pricks” much, much wealthier by paying an exorbitant price to Toll Holdings for a run down train business—the reverse of privatisation, but equally rewarding to the hated monied exploiters—and has made the tax payers correspondingly poorer at the same time, is a bit ironic, but let's not get persnickety.

She followed up this prodigious folly by seeking to deliver one of her infamous coup d'graces. She accused Key of profiting from the original sale of New Zealand Rail in 1991, then of trying to talk up Tranz Rail's share price in Parliament, while he was a shareholder in the company, in June 2003.

The fact that Key was no longer a shareholder of Tranz Rail at the time was a bit of a bummer, but when you intuitively know you are right, let's not worry about the facts getting in the way of a story.

Ah, but hold on. Mr Key asked a parliamentary question about the Government's intentions with respect to Tranz Rail prior to selling his shares. That clearly indicates his corrupt venality, his conflicts of interest, his “slippery-rich-prickiness”.

The fact that Key was asking a question, was in no way in a position to influence government policy, and was eliciting information, which immediately became public, with the result that the market was potentially better informed, is a bit of nuisance—but when you are playing a losing hand, bet more, as they say.

Shortly after the infamous question (which Key was required to ask if he was doing his job properly) he sold his shares in Tranz Rail—realizing a loss of $49,000. Yup. He clearly ripped off the public. He obviously had a huge conflict of interest: his public duties led him to suffer financially. Now that's a conflict of interest.

But envy is a corrosive emotion. It eats away. It blinds the mind. It is that terrible canker on the human soul that says, “Rather everyone was in abject poverty than you had your money. If I can't have it, nobody can.”

Clark used to be feted and celebrated by the media for her intelligence. She was supposed to be the most educated, clever, intelligent person ever to hold the office of Prime Minister in New Zealand. She is rapidly turning out to be one of its biggest fools. Envy does that. It corrupts the eye; it blinds the mind; it clouds the judgment.

But it's not all bad. Key has sold up almost all his family wealth and put it into cash and fixed interest. He says he has come to recognise when you own assets and you are in politics, potential conflicts of interest abound. He is paying the price, and putting his money where his mouth is.

However, we expect that this will be lost on Clark. Rather, she will pervert it into a new crusade. We expect that whenever Key comments on the Reserve Bank Act, on the need to fight inflation, on interest rates—or any number of economic issues—she will be accusing him of a conflict of interest. Now Key, you see, has so arranged his corrupt assets that he will benefit from high interest rates. Clearly he will want to keep them high to his own advantage, lining his own pockets, to the harm and hurt of ordinary Kiwi “battlers.”

The government this week announced that it was intending to change the Reserve Bank Act so that fighting inflation was not its prime objective and responsibility. The Opposition opposes the move. “Of course they would. Key stands to benefit.” One can imagine Clark practising her lines now, trying to get the right notes of triumph, venom, and righteous indignation in her delivery.

The fact that Helen Clark herself is a millionaire, that she owns several houses, that she is a member of that hated-by-socialists landlord class is an irrelevance. It will have been entirely overlooked. Envy blinds the mind. It is always someone else's fault.

The fact that Helen Clark runs government ministries affecting the housing market, both from the perspective of homeowners and landlords, and that she stands to benefit significantly if certain policies are followed, will never have occurred to her. The fact that she benefits personally if rents in Auckland and elsewhere are rising is no conflict of interest. The fact that a loose monetary policy will result in a re-ignited speculative residential property market, which in turn will line her own pockets to the damage of thousands of people aspiring to own homes, is utterly beside the point.

Helen Elizabeth Clark, riven by envy, utterly self-righteous, regarding herself as pure as the driven snow. She alone understands the truth about John Key, about the demon that lies beneath the smooth, oily, slippery exterior. And she is apparently prepared to lie, obfuscate, falsely accuse, slander under the cloak of parliamentary privilege—to do whatever it takes—to strip off the mask and expose the evil within.

Helen Clark: S-Award, Class II, for actions that are Stupid, Short Sighted and Stupefied