Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck, So To Speak 

Obama Nation Building
Written by Douglas Wilson
Friday, 11 January 2013

The balconies of Heaven are crowded to overflowing as the angels have all gathered to watch the brilliance of Our Serene Leadership on display. You know how it goes -- whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. And the angels pay good money to stare at it, fascinated. That's how I account for all of this.

Lets start with the trillion dollar coin thing. I don't know why nobody has ever thought of this before. Man -- elegant solutions sometimes come to you clean out of nowhere. But we need to make sure that the new Treasury Secretary's signature -- I refer of course to Jacob Lewwwwpy, whose previous job was drizzling icing on Hostess Cupcakes -- is on that coin somewhere.


We need just such a final deft touch to make sure the gods are not just messing with us, teasing us with the false dawn of all-wood-and-a-yard-wide lunatic rulers. How's that for a metaphor? What I mean to say is that true bona fide beltway bedlam would actually be a relief. We could stop trying to make sense of it. And when the president gave a presser, he could just say "nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, so to speak," instead of stuff that just amounts to the same thing later. Give it to us straight.

I was talking with some friends at breakfast, and one of them is the proud owner of a trillion dollar note already. It is not quite as exciting as it sounds, since the note was from Zimbabwe. Such a thing couldn't have nearly the monetary soundness that ours would have. The differences strike the deep thinker right away -- for example, ours would be made out of metal. There's that.

Important footnote: The original is Quem deus vult perdere, dementat prius. Another rendering is whom the gods would destroy, they make demented enough to drive a Prius, but I am going with the standard translation. I have enough troubles already.