Peace in Our Time

Hone, the Negotiator

Maoridom's new messiah won his electoral contest over the weekend.  His first order of business is to enter negotiations with the Maori Party.  We expect those negotiations to be free, full, frank . . . and brief. 

Here is a preview of how the negotiations will run--from our inside operative, Wally Fly.


Discussions commence: 10.16. 30 am
Hone (to Tari and Pit): Maori have got to stick together.  It's our only chance to do the m...f.... Pakeha over.  So, here's my olive branch to you: let's put the Mana Party and the Maori Party back together.  We will call it Mana Maori, and I am prepared to accept your invitation to be its sole, undisputed leader. 

Pita Sharples: That's one way forward Hone.  But we will need to put that to our members.  We will hold numerous hui over the next couple of weeks and let you know.

Hone: $*@# that.  Am I the only one prepared to negotiate in good faith here?  OK.  I'll give you one more chance.  Let's go  back to our original agreement which, as you recall, was: I am free to say whatever comes into my head about you and your backstabbing Maori Party, and you will zip your lip.  Second, that in whatever seat Mana decides to stand a candidate, the red-neck hugging Maori Party will not stand.  That's what we originally agreed, and I'm prepared to stand by it. 

Tari: No, that's not what we agreed, Hone.

Hone: You calling me a liar now?  That's it.  You've had your chance.  I'm outa here, you @^$*&@!

Meeting ends: 10.17.09 am