Spare a thought for poor Jeremy Corbyn. We take no pleasure in his humiliation. What humiliation, you ask. He has been gravely shamed not just by his own party, but by columnists in his own newspaper,
which has decided that Corbyn is a bridge too far.
It's a bit unfair really, since the Labour Party has historically been led by deep sea divers catapaulting into the pool of pacifism. Jeremy is merely diving in after the example of his greater forbears. Now he is being mocked by his own--or what he thought were his own.
Jeremy Corbyn
may have misgivings about shoot to kill, but few of his own MPs seem to
share them. Sitting next to the leader of the opposition for the prime
minister’s statement on the G20 summit and the Paris attacks was Hilary
Benn. The normally mild-mannered shadow foreign secretary gave every
impression he was trying to eliminate his boss with mind control and a
rictus smile. Disappointed to find Jezza still breathing, he left
without saying goodbye after 45 minutes.
Other Labour MPs chose to kill their leader by vocalising their
whole-hearted support for the prime minister’s tougher stance on
terrorism. One by one they rose. Pat McFadden. Mike Gapes. David Hanson.
Chris Leslie. Emma Reynolds.
Chuka Umunna.
Anne Coffey. Ian Leslie. Even the usually on-message Sarah Champion. Et
tu, Sarah? There would have been more, had not the Speaker curtailed
the debate. Not even in Iain Duncan Smith’s darkest hours had a leader
been turned on so openly by his own party in parliament.
Gravitas isn’t something that comes easily to
David Cameron
but, just this once, he was allowed the chance to feel what it might be
like to be a statesman. A father not just to the Conservatives but also
to a Labour party keen to distance itself from a leader whose pacifism
has failed to capture the public mood. A father to the nation.
Having begun the session in low-key deferential fashion, promising to
take due note of the foreign affairs select committee’s concerns before
embarking on military action in Syria, the prime minister was almost in
the mood to start the bombing immediately by the end. Such was the
universal hawkish acclaim he was receiving. “We’ve got better weapons
than the US,” he boasted. “We’ve got the Brimstone missile that can take
out jihadis just like that.”
For Corbyn, it was more a case of sinking to the occasion. In recent exchanges with the prime minister, the
Labour
leader has more than held his own but now he was hesitant, stumbling
over his speech long before many of the poisoned arrows had struck him.
“Um ... er,” he said, coughing nervously and regularly losing his place
and train of thought.
What would successful military action look like? Is bombing a country
into rubble the best way of building a new democracy? These important
questions went almost unheard. After his remarks to the BBC on Monday,
Jezza is finding it hard to shake the impression that he is the kind of
leader who would politely request a terrorist to sit down for a nice cup
of tea and talk through his anger issues, even as he was reloading his
AK-47 to gun down some more civilians having a quiet night out.
The onslaught took its toll. Minister after minister abandoned Corbyn on the frontbench until the only people left were
Diane Abbott
and a totally bewildered Barry Gardiner, a junior shadow minister for
climate change. Having got up most of her colleagues’ noses by catching
up with her correspondence at a meeting of the parliamentary Labour
party the night before, it was too early for Abbott to start on her
Christmas cards. So she just stared stony-faced into the abyss. What she
saw was too frightening even for her, so she too upped sticks. Though
not before roping in a reluctant Jon Trickett to take her place.
Gardiner passed the time by ostentatiously tapping away at his iPad. A
tip, Barry. Passive-aggression has never been a worthwhile tactic when
playing Call of Duty. He nudged Corbyn to let him know the baddies had
just killed him for the umpteenth time in a row before he had had a
chance to save his game at the checkpoint. Jezza knew the feeling. Shoot
to kill had just claimed its first parliamentary victim.