Tuesday 1 July 2014

Explaining Isis

Deadly Miasma on the Volga, the Potomac, and the Tigris

When Slate published a carefully reasoned piece on Global Warming recently it was panned and lampooned by everyone in the US whose brain was in gear before their mouth engaged.  The vastly erudite thesis offered by the writer was that Isis and the civil wars in Iraq were caused by global warming. 

To prove the point that idiocy is itself global and not restricted to national borders, the piece was subsequently reproduced in New Zealand's leading national daily, the NZ Herald.  The piece, by Eric Holthaus was entitled, Is Climate Change Destabilizing Iraq? and the answer was an in the affirmative.  On first reading, one is easily duped into thinking that the article was very clever satire.  But no, the author wants to be read without a scintilla of satire.  Here is the thesis:

This year's major drought [in Iraq] has coincided with the rise of ISIS, which has already used dams as a weapon of war, threatening downstream agriculture and electricity production during its march to gain control of vast swaths of territory in Syria and northern Iraq.
It appears that Iraq is in the midst of a drought, which--if memory would serve--occurs on a reasonably regular basis in that part of the world.  Isis--a Sunni backed offshoot of Al Qaeda--has emerged to capture towns and ruthlessly execute the captured personnel.  Holthaus argues that this "instability" is caused by global warming.  Folk apparently do reckless and terrible things when it gets hot and dry.  

Unfortunately for Holthaus's thesis, he apparently skipped his fourth form logic class.  Co-incidence, of course, does not indicate, let alone prove, causation.  Unless you happen to be superstitious.  If you are, then black cats crossing one's path can cause all kinds of evils.  The sad thing is that the religion of global warming has descended into irrational realms now appealing only gullible superstitious mind.  An even sadder thing is that the idiot editors at the NZ Herald published this piece of nonsense without a shred of irony or satire in sight. 

Let's just review the possible outcomes of the conflict in Iraq, and see how many could reasonably be ascribed to global warming:

1.  Isis triumphantly takes Baghdad (global warming would have made them fearsome and ferocious and invincible on the battlefield.  Global warming drove them to fury.)

2.  The Iraq army capitulates amidst an eructation of cowardice and incompetence.  (Global warming drove them to distraction, so they could not fight).

3. Isis falls apart in a cluster of inter-necine divisions and squabbles.  (The heat drove them mad.)

4. Russia sends fighter jets to Iraq, enabling the Iraqi forces to bomb Isis into retreat.  (The heat on the Volga made Putin reckless.)

5. President Obama makes the Baghdad sky black with armed drones. (Global warming derangement syndrome lies miasmally over the Potomac).

5. Isis proclaims a Caliphate, anoints a Caliph, and calls all Muslims to rise in support of a global Islamic state.  (Global warming made them insane). 

Woops.  They just did that.  So there.  It proves just how much of a clear and present danger global warming really is.  QED.

Years ago, children used to claim when caught out, "the Devil made me do it".  Eric Holthaus, Slate and the NZ Herald have apparently never grown up.  

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