Saturday 24 November 2012

Politicians and the Gods

Frenetic Carmelite Dervishes

The limitations of political parties and politicians is both diverting and entertaining, if you are one who find such things amusing. 

We never fail to be cynically amused by politicians who testify that their god is government every time they bless us with public utterance.  It conjures up the image of the priests of Baal dancing around the altar on Mount Carmel, hissing, shouting, cutting themselves and wailing in frenzied despair.  "Hurry up and do something, Baal," is the general sentiment. 

The god of such simpletons is a weak, over-extended, incompetent, bumbling, greasy Jabba the Hutt.  Those politicians constantly invoking their god, who call out to Jabba for help are like the idol they worship--weak, over-extended, out of their depth, incompetent, and no doubt greasy. 

Here is a classic in the genre of Mount Carmel dervishes:

More Evidence Of Rent Gouging In Christchurch



Denis O’Rourke MP
Spokesperson for Christchurch Earthquake Issues
21 November 2012
More Evidence Of Rent Gouging In Christchurch
New Zealand First says more evidence of rent gouging has emerged with a Christchurch family with nine young children landed with a rent increase of $100 a week to take their weekly rental from $460 to $560.
Christchurch Earthquake Issues spokesperson Denis O'Rourke says this vindicates repeated calls from New Zealand First for a short term rent freeze in the city.

“This is irrefutable evidence that rent gouging is continuing as a result of the housing shortage in Christchurch in the aftermath of the earthquakes.  “The family concerned will struggle to afford such an unconscionable hike in their rent.  “They say they’ve had ‘two years of hell with earthquake after earthquake and now the profiteers seem to be allowed to run rampant’.
 
“It is high time that Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee abandoned the pretence that the market will control home rents in Christchurch, and take overdue action to impose a short term rent freeze,” says Mr O’Rourke.
Good one, Denis.  That'll stir up Jabba to action.

But hold on.  Why limit what you are asking your god to do?  Surely the gummint is all powerful, omni-competent, and great in every way.  Great Baal of Wellington can do anything, right?  Surely calling for a stupid little rent freeze--a temporary one at that--is beneath your god's dignity.  There are plenty of other ways more honouring to your idol, more befitting his greatness that you could invoke your god to perform. 

A temporary rent freeze is so petty.  What about forced relocation to other cities?  We all know the reason rents in earthquake afflicted Christchurch are so high is that there are too few rental properties and too many people wanting to rent.  Ergo, reduce the number of people wanting to rent by forced relocation to other cities and the problem is solved.  This would be a far better demonstration of the power and authority of your god. 

Moreover, a bit of vengeance would not go amiss.  Denis invokes a family with nine children--a family already being paid out lots of moolah from Baal, no doubt way beyond what the average family in the country gets paid.  After all that Baal, has done for them, they are still whining.  Nobody loves whiners and moaners. Take a few of the children away and give them to the care of CYF.  They will enjoy having Jabba's tongue slurp all over them.  The downsized family could then rent a smaller house.  Less rent.  Problem solved.  Maybe next time they would not moan so much and complain against your god. 

We could go on.  What about deploying forced labour on Christchurch housebuilding?  We have thousands upon thousands of people unemployed in New Zealand.  Surely your god could invoke a bit of command economy magic more worthy of his power.  Deport them to a vast tent city on the Canterbury plains and put them to work making bricks and building houses.  If productivity falters, employ whips.  It has worked in the past.  A piddling little rent freeze--a temporary one at that--hardly befits the greatness of your god, Denis.  Think Pharaoh and the pyramids.  That's a real god in action. 

Get the point, Denis?  If you are going to invoke the government as your Baal, your Jabba, as your omni-competent solver of all problems and the balm of all hurts, please think big.  Give him plenty of options, lots of potential solutions and alternative ways to demonstrate his glory.  A piddling little rent freeze.  How is that worthy of the glory of the great god, Baal? 

Politicians can be so small minded. 

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